Why Coordination Matters More as Parents Age

When your parents were 60, siloed planning was inefficient but not dangerous. They had time to fix mistakes. They could answer questions themselves. They could coordinate between advisors when needed.

At 80 or 85, siloed planning becomes genuinely risky:

Cognitive decline happens gradually. Your parents may not recognize when they're no longer able to manage complex financial decisions. Advisors who only see them occasionally may not notice either. Decisions that should be questioned get rubber-stamped.

Health crises strike without warning. A stroke or fall can instantly shift someone from independent to incapacitated. If powers of attorney are outdated, if account access isn't established, if the family doesn't know what exists—you're scrambling during a crisis.

Estate plans drift out of alignment. The trust says one thing. The beneficiary designations say another. The deed to the lake house was never transferred. Each advisor sees only their piece and assumes everything else is handled.

Tax opportunities get missed. Roth conversions, Qualified Charitable Distributions, strategic gifting, and other planning opportunities have narrow windows. If no one is looking at the complete picture, these opportunities slip by.

The Information You Need to Gather

Before you can coordinate, you need visibility. This means having (or helping your parents create) a comprehensive inventory:

Financial Accounts

Bank accounts (checking, savings, CDs)

Brokerage and investment accounts

Retirement accounts (IRAs, 401(k)s, pensions)

Annuities

Life insurance policies (with death benefits and ownership details)

Business interests or partnership shares

For each account: institution name, account number, approximate value, titling (individual, joint, trust), and named beneficiaries.

Real Estate

Primary residence

Vacation properties

Rental or investment properties

Land

For each property: address, how it's titled (individually, jointly, in a trust, in an LLC), mortgage status, and approximate value.

Legal Documents

Wills

Revocable living trusts

Irrevocable trusts (if any)

Durable powers of attorney for finances

Healthcare powers of attorney / healthcare proxies

Living wills / advance directives

HIPAA authorizations

For each document: date executed, location of original, and who the named fiduciaries are (executors, trustees, agents).

Advisors

Estate planning attorney

CPA or tax preparer

Financial advisor / investment manager

Insurance agent

Primary care physician

For each: name, firm, contact information, and what they handle.

The Silo Problem in Practice

Here's how siloed planning typically breaks down:

The attorney drafted a trust—but accounts were never re-titled into it. The trust exists on paper, but assets pass outside it (often through probate) because no one completed the funding step.

The financial advisor set up beneficiary designations—but they conflict with the will. The will says everything goes equally to three children. The IRA names only one child. The IRA wins, because beneficiary designations override wills.

The CPA prepares taxes—but doesn't know about Roth conversion opportunities. Your parents are in a low-income year (maybe they delayed Social Security or had deductible losses). A Roth conversion would make sense, but no one is coordinating tax planning with investment strategy.

The insurance agent sold a policy—but ownership is wrong for estate tax purposes. Your dad owns a $2 million policy on his life. At death, the proceeds are included in his taxable estate, potentially triggering estate taxes that proper trust ownership would have avoided.

Everyone assumes someone else is in charge. The attorney thinks the financial advisor is handling things. The advisor thinks the CPA is watching the tax situation. The CPA thinks the attorney has the estate plan under control. No one is actually coordinating.

Breaking Down the Silos

Coordination doesn't mean replacing your parents' existing advisors. It means creating communication pathways that don't currently exist:

1. Establish a Coordination Role

Someone needs to be the hub. This could be:

A trusted adult child (you, perhaps) who takes on the coordination responsibility

A comprehensive financial advisor who works across investment, tax, and estate planning

A family office or wealth management firm that provides coordination as part of their service

The coordinator doesn't need to be an expert in everything. They need to ask questions, connect dots, and ensure each specialist knows what the others are doing.

2. Create a Shared Document

A one-page summary that all advisors can reference:

Net worth summary and major assets

Key estate planning provisions (who inherits what, who are fiduciaries)

Outstanding planning concerns or goals

Contact information for all advisors

This document creates shared context. When the CPA prepares taxes, they can see the estate plan overview. When the attorney updates documents, they can see the account summary.

3. Hold an Annual Coordination Meeting

Once a year, bring the key advisors together—even if just for a 30-minute conference call. Topics to cover:

What changed in the past year (health, finances, family)?

Are all beneficiary designations current and consistent with the estate plan?

Are there tax planning opportunities to consider?

Do any legal documents need updating?

Is the investment strategy still appropriate for your parents' stage of life?

These meetings surface issues that would otherwise stay hidden until a crisis forces them into the open.

4. Establish Account Access

While your parents are still competent, establish the infrastructure that allows you to help when needed:

Trusted contact authorization. Most financial institutions now allow clients to name a trusted contact who can be notified if there are concerns about the account holder's capacity or potential exploitation.

Power of attorney on file. Even if the power of attorney isn't being used yet, having it on file with each institution speeds access when it's needed.

Online account access. With your parents' permission, having view-only access to accounts allows you to monitor for unusual activity.

Secure document storage. Know where the originals are kept. Have copies yourself. Consider a secure digital vault for backup.

Navigating the Emotional Dynamics

The hardest part of this process often isn't the logistics—it's the relationships. Common challenges:

Parents who resist help. They've managed their own affairs for 60 years. Accepting help feels like admitting decline. Approach this as partnership, not takeover. "I want to learn about your planning so I can support your wishes" is different from "Let me take over your finances."

Siblings with different levels of involvement. You're doing the work. Your brother lives across the country and weighs in only to criticize. Define roles clearly. The sibling doing the coordination needs authority to act—with accountability to others, but not requiring consensus for every decision.

Family secrets and surprises. You may discover things you didn't know: a second marriage decades ago, an estranged child, assets you didn't know existed, debts you didn't expect. Try to approach discoveries with curiosity rather than judgment.

Advisors who are territorial. Some advisors resist coordination because they prefer to operate independently. If an advisor won't communicate with others or share information appropriately, that's a red flag about whether they're truly serving your parents' interests.

When to Consider Changing Advisors

Sometimes the existing advisory team isn't serving your parents well. Signs that a change may be warranted:

The advisor can't explain the strategy. If you ask why the portfolio is invested a certain way and get vague or dismissive answers, that's a problem.

Documents are severely outdated. If the estate plan references laws that changed 20 years ago, the attorney hasn't been providing ongoing service.

No one has reviewed things in years. Good advisors reach out proactively, especially as clients age.

The advisor is defensive about coordination. Professionals who are confident in their work welcome collaboration. Those who resist it may be hiding something.

Your parents' needs have outgrown the advisor. The advisor who was great when your parents had $500,000 may not have the expertise needed for a $5 million estate with complex tax and estate planning needs.

How We Help Families Navigate This

Multi-generational coordination is one of the most valuable services we provide. For families in this situation, we:

Conduct a comprehensive review. We gather documents, account statements, and estate plans to create a complete picture of what exists and where gaps may be.

Coordinate with existing advisors. We don't require families to replace their trusted CPA or attorney. We work alongside existing relationships, adding the coordination layer that's been missing.

Identify disconnects and risks. Beneficiary designations that conflict with estate plans. Assets that never got titled properly. Tax strategies that no one is implementing. We surface these issues while there's time to fix them.

Facilitate family conversations. Sometimes the most valuable thing we do is provide a neutral space for parents and adult children to discuss finances, estate plans, and wishes—conversations that are hard to have without structure.

Create ongoing accountability. We don't review things once and disappear. We establish regular check-ins and proactive monitoring so coordination becomes continuous, not a one-time project.

If you're the adult child trying to help aging parents get their financial house in order, you're not alone. This is one of the most common—and most important—planning challenges families face. We'd be glad to discuss your situation and explore whether we can help bring coordination to what's currently fragmented.